What will you change?

This is a frequent question for a new mommy of 2. Alot of my friends about to have their first are asking me "what would you do differently w/ #2 after having done it?". So I sat back and thought about it b/c I wasn't really sure. And I came to the conclusion that I wasn't sure b/c I don't think I'll change anything. And I thought I'd like to journal it so that in a year I can see what I was right about and what baby boy prompted me to do differently.

I always thought my first response would be "oh this one will take a bottle no matter what!". But now that it's upon me, I think, eh what will be will be. If baby boy refuses a bottle like his big brother did, I might keep trying but then again I might not. And I for sure won't force it on him. Kayden endured me having a breast biopsy and decided to starve himself for the 24 hours after my biopsy, despite EVERY lactation consultant and doctor telling me he wouldn't. So I know I make stubborn babies (wonder where they get that from??). And to me it isn't worth it. Yes, it would be nice to have more freedom about when I can have a glass of wine or go out for a few hours. But it's also nice not having to worry about pumping. Being a stay at home mom makes the pump a very annoying thing. So to say I'm going to pump several times a week to keep him used to the bottle is something I can't really committ to. If he is easier than Kayden and is fine having it now and then, then I will be a happy mommy! If not, I will survive, I did once and it wasn't nearly as bad as people would say it will be. I actually kind of enjoyed the closeness it required of us:)

I plan on co-sleeping with our next baby too. With Kayden I had "planned" on having him in our room for the first 6 months and then he came and he needed to sleep with us, he needed to feel us next to him and be able to smell us and hear us. And I loved it. I love having that tiny baby snuggled up against me. In the grand scheme of things a baby in your bed for a year is such a small amount of time and those moments will never be there again when your rushing off to soccer practice and going to school plays. So if baby wants to sleep with us, baby is more than welcome:)
And despite what everyone told us, Kayden did leave our bed! On his own without any tears or sadness! So baby in your bed doesn't mean kid in your bed, at least for us it didn't.

To this day Kayden has still never cried it out. I've always responded to his needs and helped him feel secure and safe. (Yes, he has cried in time out, but to me that is different). And people told me I was making a mama's boy with no known limits, that he wouldn't be independent, he'd never sleep thru the night etc. You name it, I heard it! Well Kayden is a very independent boy and knows his limits and those can be taught without crying it out. He sleeps through the night too so even though I read all the books telling me that babies can sleep through the night without having to cry it out, it is so nice knowing this time that it's true! That I have a baby who did it. For me, crying it out isn't an option, I just can't do it. So I'm glad that their are other options out there for a mommy that is too much of a softie when it comes to her babies to listen to them cry.

Baby boy will also get to nurse on demand and I'm hoping I let him wean himself like I did with Kayden. Lucky for my babies I love nursing them so I'm hoping that doesn't change since I will have been nursing or preggy for the past ummmm...3 plus years by the time this baby arrives! It's a long time to not have your body as your own. But then I think about what I've always wanted, and it was always to be a mommy. So now that I have that amazing title I'm going to try and never rush through any stage with any of my babies. B/c when it's gone it's gone forever and you can't ever get it back, even if you have more babies, it will never be that moment with that baby again. I would be so rich if I had a dollar for every time an older mom or lady stared at me longingly or told me about when her babies were small and how fast time goes, while I was holding my baby or nursing my baby. So while my babies are little I really try to soak it in, b/c it's gone in an instant and I don't want to regret a moment!

Those are the big ones that I think alot of my "elders" were sure I'd regret doing. I heard alot of "babies need to cry sometimes" and "your going to have a baby in your bed forever now Kaisha". And sometimes I'd let myself think they might be right but at the end of the day I knew to just follow my instincts and do what was right for my babies. So I'm interested to see in a year what I'll think of this. If baby boy will be so different from big brother that I'll have to change alot in order to follow his cues and needs or if it will all ring true again. I'm getting very excited to find out! But I'll also miss having him with me 100% of the time and feeling every little movement he does inside of me. It's crazy how when your pregnant you are NEVER alone, you always have that little person with you!