What will you change?

This is a frequent question for a new mommy of 2. Alot of my friends about to have their first are asking me "what would you do differently w/ #2 after having done it?". So I sat back and thought about it b/c I wasn't really sure. And I came to the conclusion that I wasn't sure b/c I don't think I'll change anything. And I thought I'd like to journal it so that in a year I can see what I was right about and what baby boy prompted me to do differently.

I always thought my first response would be "oh this one will take a bottle no matter what!". But now that it's upon me, I think, eh what will be will be. If baby boy refuses a bottle like his big brother did, I might keep trying but then again I might not. And I for sure won't force it on him. Kayden endured me having a breast biopsy and decided to starve himself for the 24 hours after my biopsy, despite EVERY lactation consultant and doctor telling me he wouldn't. So I know I make stubborn babies (wonder where they get that from??). And to me it isn't worth it. Yes, it would be nice to have more freedom about when I can have a glass of wine or go out for a few hours. But it's also nice not having to worry about pumping. Being a stay at home mom makes the pump a very annoying thing. So to say I'm going to pump several times a week to keep him used to the bottle is something I can't really committ to. If he is easier than Kayden and is fine having it now and then, then I will be a happy mommy! If not, I will survive, I did once and it wasn't nearly as bad as people would say it will be. I actually kind of enjoyed the closeness it required of us:)

I plan on co-sleeping with our next baby too. With Kayden I had "planned" on having him in our room for the first 6 months and then he came and he needed to sleep with us, he needed to feel us next to him and be able to smell us and hear us. And I loved it. I love having that tiny baby snuggled up against me. In the grand scheme of things a baby in your bed for a year is such a small amount of time and those moments will never be there again when your rushing off to soccer practice and going to school plays. So if baby wants to sleep with us, baby is more than welcome:)
And despite what everyone told us, Kayden did leave our bed! On his own without any tears or sadness! So baby in your bed doesn't mean kid in your bed, at least for us it didn't.

To this day Kayden has still never cried it out. I've always responded to his needs and helped him feel secure and safe. (Yes, he has cried in time out, but to me that is different). And people told me I was making a mama's boy with no known limits, that he wouldn't be independent, he'd never sleep thru the night etc. You name it, I heard it! Well Kayden is a very independent boy and knows his limits and those can be taught without crying it out. He sleeps through the night too so even though I read all the books telling me that babies can sleep through the night without having to cry it out, it is so nice knowing this time that it's true! That I have a baby who did it. For me, crying it out isn't an option, I just can't do it. So I'm glad that their are other options out there for a mommy that is too much of a softie when it comes to her babies to listen to them cry.

Baby boy will also get to nurse on demand and I'm hoping I let him wean himself like I did with Kayden. Lucky for my babies I love nursing them so I'm hoping that doesn't change since I will have been nursing or preggy for the past ummmm...3 plus years by the time this baby arrives! It's a long time to not have your body as your own. But then I think about what I've always wanted, and it was always to be a mommy. So now that I have that amazing title I'm going to try and never rush through any stage with any of my babies. B/c when it's gone it's gone forever and you can't ever get it back, even if you have more babies, it will never be that moment with that baby again. I would be so rich if I had a dollar for every time an older mom or lady stared at me longingly or told me about when her babies were small and how fast time goes, while I was holding my baby or nursing my baby. So while my babies are little I really try to soak it in, b/c it's gone in an instant and I don't want to regret a moment!

Those are the big ones that I think alot of my "elders" were sure I'd regret doing. I heard alot of "babies need to cry sometimes" and "your going to have a baby in your bed forever now Kaisha". And sometimes I'd let myself think they might be right but at the end of the day I knew to just follow my instincts and do what was right for my babies. So I'm interested to see in a year what I'll think of this. If baby boy will be so different from big brother that I'll have to change alot in order to follow his cues and needs or if it will all ring true again. I'm getting very excited to find out! But I'll also miss having him with me 100% of the time and feeling every little movement he does inside of me. It's crazy how when your pregnant you are NEVER alone, you always have that little person with you!

2 years, 4 months

Kayden lately you have become mommy's little man all over again! You have always been my little heartbeat outside my heart but lately you have been so attached to your mommy. You love showering me with hugs and kisses and want mommy to do everything with you. I love it. I'm soaking in every moment because I'm very scared that in the next couple weeks when baby brother arrives you might be a little mad at me for awhile so I need to enjoy the hugs and kisses now. And I love having this special time with just you. Today before nap we were reading "I love you this much" and after we read that and your other stories you said "I love you this much mommy" and held your hands out wide and then said "and this much" and held your hands up high just like in the book. Then you said "I love you to the moon and back 3 times mommy". And I melted! For you to express your love for me in words like that was so special. And the fact that you had to times it by 3 makes it even better! I love you to the moon and back a thousand times baby boy.

Some cute things your doing/saying at the moment:
*On Sunday daddy let me stay in bed a few extra minutes and I heard you guys out in the playroom and daddy yawned a loud yawn. You said "Daddy no do that", Daddy said "do what", you said "go eaaawwwww", so daddy did it again and you said "daddy no do that again, too loud!"
*If you don't want someone near you you'll vocalize it right in front of them "Mommy don't want THAT lady by me!" (You did this at the hair place, Gap and at a picnic table at the park, makes for an embarrassed mommy!) The lady at the hair place had short spikey, red hair.....so I guess I need to culture you a little more!
*Every airplane that flies by has namma or gampa in it to this day, weeks after their visit. Today you saw 2 airplanes at once and you said "namma in dat aipane and gampa in dat one"
*My belly gets constant love from you "mommy open the baby up" which means to lift my shirt and you hug him, kiss him, talk to him, show him toys, etc.
*On Monday I got up early to get daddy a Latte for his birthday and when I got home you were waiting for me in the garage and said "Mommy you no go bye bye w/o ME!" And then promptly decided to freak out that I got daddy a breakfast sandwich for his birthday from Starbucks and only got you a water, lucky for you daddy is a sucker and gave you some of his sandwich before he left for work!
*Last night before we went to do bedtime you gave daddy a kiss on his leg and a hug and we were off to read stories. Daddy came in for a minute and read one of our stories w/ us and when he was leaving he asked for a kiss goodnight and you threw your little arms up and then let them hit your legs and said "Already daddy" he said what? you said "Already kissed you in the bafroom" and threw your arms up again as if to say come on get w/ it daddy! Of course you loved that this made mommy bust into laughter and you kept doing it over and over.
*You LOVE the bunnies that live in our greenspace. You can't wait to see them every morning and every night on our walk. You saw a lady feeding them carrots and now you have to take them a carrot every morning. When we start walking you put your finger over your mouth and say "shhh mommy, bunnies" and you pretend to tiptoe. But as soon as you see them you can't stop yourself and you go running at them screaming "HI BUNNIES, HI bunnies" and then they of course run off. You chase them and then yell at them to eat the carrots and surprisingly they usually do come back for the treat you have for them.
*You love pop music but aren't a big fan of country. If I have the pop station on you love to tell me to make it "Louder mommy, louder" and you jam out. But if it's on country if I turn it up you tell me "No mommy too loud".
*You have an amazing memory (better than mommy for sure!). You remember where we see each halloween decoration on our walk, where we have ever seen a cat or other exciting thing. You remember what scares your friends or what happened when they were over and you love to retell it over and over. For example if Maverick is coming over you'll say "Maverick scared of Didi mommy, he go AHHH" or if I give you the green bowl with your noodles "Tula have to have green too" b/c she got upset you had pink the last time she was here so we had to give you both green to stop the wars.
*Along the lines of storytelling....yesterday we went to meet Baby Evan and see Camila. Well you got to see his diaper being changed and I told you what the umbilical cord was for, why Brenda was putting medicine on his "weenie" and then you saw him nursing. Well when daddy came home you told him ALL about it. That he has a cord coming out of his belly button and that you used to and that was how you ate from mommy and that your baby has a cord to eat right now. That he has an owie on his weenie and that most little boys get an owie on their weenie when they are born and then he had mommy's milk and you lifted up your shirt to show daddy where he got milk from! I couldn't believe the detail you told daddy and that you remembered all of that new info you had learned hours before! You were definetely studying Evan closely b/c you know your going to have one soon! When we left Brenda's you said "My want baby like baby Evan NOW mommy". So I'm hoping you really will when he arrives!
*You use "My" instead of I, and I love it:) I know the speechie in me should be trying to correct it but your so ahead w/ all your speech I'm not worried, I'm going to enjoy this little bit of toddler talk you do now b/c I know you have nothing of a speech disorder and you'll soon correct it and then I'll miss my baby saying My instead of I.
*Say "Mommy come pay wit me" whenever you aren't getting my full attention
*When you want someone to come w/ you or follow you you slap your leg like your calling a dog!!
*Love rhyming words. We started rhyming words w/ you when we were bathing you, whatever body part we were washing we'd rhyme at the moment, (arm, farm, harm, etc). Now you bust out in rhymes all the time and if I do words that don't rhyme and ask you if they do you tell me "no dat don't rhyme mommy!" or "no dats not right"
*If I hurt myself or you accidently do and I let you know I'm hurt you quickly say over and over "it okay mommy, it okay"
*If I cry or pretend to you quickly give me kisses and tell me "No lye (cry) mommy, no lye!" in a frantic need to stop now mommy voice!
*You love art, painting, pottery, coloring, glueing, anything artsy you love. Of course this is hard for mommy....I'm the LEAST artsy person around! Lucky for you you have an architect as a daddy who can draw anything and loves to color! He did it for 6 years in college so he can teach it all to you, unlucky for you mommy is the one at home w/ you most of the time so hopefully you can be creative despite me!
*You still prefer to be naked when at home you call it "naki" and strip down whenever you can!
*You are 100% potty trained, haven't had an accident during the day in a really long time. At night you go weeks without an accident and then you'll randomly have a couple nights where you have one, these are usually related to daddy giving you a drink after you go potty!
*You call water "Lala" even though you can say water just fine:)
*Your favorite color is yellow!

Happy 31st Birthday Daddy!

Kyle's 31st Birthday was on Monday so we celebrated it on Sunday. He has been so slow at work all year w/ the bad economy and of course his birthday weekend he was swamped w/ work! So he worked alot both Saturday and Sunday and Kayden and I made him a cake and Kayden wrapped his presents he picked out for daddy. Kayden picked out Madagascar 2 the movie, the only movie he really ever watches is Madagascar so I wasn't surprised by the choice! And he picked out 2 nerf guns, one for him and one for daddy so that they can have "wars". Not sure WHERE in the world my 2 year old even learned about guns or war! He doesn't watch TV and he isn't around guns ever. I was pretty shocked. Kyle said it's innate in boys to love fighting etc. Guess it must be b/c he learned about it w/o any known exposure. He also found daddy a shirt at Banana Republic. When daddy asked him on Friday what he got him Kayden said "Guns". Kyle goes "wow, mommy must have you all sorts of confused" and I couldn't help but laugh! All weekend then he kept wanting to have daddy's "Happy Birthday cake and play with GUNS!".
Kyle was pretty surprised to open his gifts from little man and Kayden couldn't wait to have war with daddy. Having a little person makes birthdays so much more fun again! After celebrating them for so many years, having a little one's perspective shined on them makes it all new again!
Happy 31st Birthday Kyle, we love you!

Pumpkin Patch

On Sunday we headed to Freeman Farms in Chino Valley to their pumpkin festival. It's our 2nd year of going there and we love it! We love the day trip out of the city and up to the cooler weather. This year it was about 80 while we were there (the whole state had a hot weekend) but w/ baby boy due soon we decided to go this weekend even though it wouldn't be as cool as it will this next weekend (forcast says 70, darn it!). Kayden woke up telling us it was morning time and time to go bye bye! He loves adventures and was very ready for our day at the farm.
He got to pet sheep, goats, cows, horses, donkeys and a pig in the petting zoo. He tried to pet the pig's face and the pig snapped at him and mommy freaked! He led us through a fun corn maze, went on a hayrack ride, train ride and played on the big green tractors for a long time. He didn't want to leave them and had mommy get in the attached wagon so he could take me for a "ride":) He picked out a great pumpkin and had so much fun playing in the dirt and open air!

Namma and Gampa's visit

Namma and Gampa came to visit as Kayden calls them. He was soooo excited for them to get here he couldn't go to sleep the night before. He woke up on Thursday morning (October 1st) telling me we had to go to the airport "right now!". Lucky for him their flight did get in at 8:10 so we pretty much got to leave when he wanted too! He had told me the day before he was going to go to Starbucks with them so of course they took him to Starbucks to have his muffin man:) He loved having 2 more people's attention on him 24/7! Gampa had to leave on Monday and Namma got to stay until the following Monday! Everytime he sees an airplane now Gampa is on it, I guess gampa is a very travelled man! He and namma made lots of yummy treats, went out to lunch alot, watched movies, played at the park, took Didi on lots of walks, went to the train park and the zoo! He loves his namma and woke up the day after she left asking for her and said he was sad that she was gone. Lucky for him namma will be back in 23 days to wait for the arrival of baby brother! Lucky for mommy and daddy we actually got to go on a date! A very rare occasion for us since I'm such a freak about who watches Kayden and our family lives so far away...they are few and far between. It was nice to have one last night out before we become parents of 2, we went out to dinner, went to the movie Couples Retreat and hung out at Barnes and Noble. And Kayden and namma had a date too, dinner and ice cream and they watched Madagascar at home.

ABC's & 123's!

A few weeks ago Mr. Kayden just started singing his ABCs. We've never drilled it or worked on it. We'd just sing it here and there when he asked for it. And one day he just rattled the song off to us! At first he'd skip QRS but within a day he had those figured out and does the whole alphabet. He loves to have mommy and daddy sing it w/ him and you HAVE to clap at the end after you sing "now I know my abcs next time won't you sing w/ me" you have to end w/ a clap and a smile:)
Then this morning he woke up and counted to 10?!? Again, we have never tried to teach it to him, we'll just count items we see or if he asks us to count something and somehow he just learned it! I LOVE LOVE LOVE watching his little gears work in his brain and I love even more knowing that he is learning it naturally, not by drilling or forcing him into it. He does it b/c he has a love for learning and that makes me smile:) When he counted to 10 this morning the first time he skipped 6 but after that he did it right every time! I asked Kyle if he had counted to 10 last night w/ him while I was w/ clients and he said no, that they had counted to 5 during bath time when they were counting his toys but not 10. It's crazy what his little mind soaks up w/o us even realizing it!
So Kayden at 2 years, 3 months old you can say your alphabet, count to 10, know your colors and shapes!

"When my baby gets out".....

Whenever Kayden is doing something lately that he likes he says "When my baby gets out" he's going to........
"play with my trains"
"eat ice cream cones"
"go to the park w/ namma"
"see the bunnies"
"walk didi"
"take a bath with me"
"eat grapes"
"go to the zoo"
And the list goes on and on. I love how he is always thinking of his little brother and including him in all our activities! (guess I'm going to have to watch really hard what he tries to put in baby brother's mouth b/c he doesn't get the concept of only drinking mommy's milk for 6 months!)
I can't wait for you to have your baby brother out and see him in your world for real Kayden! You will be an amazing big brother!