The Polar Express

Back when I was working I often had kiddos tell me they were going to the North Pole or on the Polar Express. I would talk to them about imagination and that they weren't really going to the North Pole or on the Polar Express.....and then I found out they were! That AZ has this really awesome Christmas event in Williams where you ride on a real train and read the Polar Express story, drink hot cocoa and eat cookies all the while singing Christmas carols! You end in the "North Pole" and Santa boards the train and gives each child a magic bell. Talk about a festive Christmas idea. So now I feel like such a silly speechie ruining it for all of my kiddos I used to see!
This was our 2nd year of taking our train loving toddler on this great train ride. We woke up early Sunday morning and packed up for our daytrip. Got to Flagstaff around 10:30ish and had the fun of the ground being covered in alot of snow and it was snowing out!! Yay, winter wonderland for us Phoenicians! Kyle took Kayden sledding and they made his first snowman on the NAU campus (cheer the college kiddos up during finals week:), Kayden also was taught the magical "you can eat white snow, not yellow snow" saying and loved telling me that over and over all day! We ate soup for lunch (something else you Northerners take for granted, eating soup on a bone chilling day is the best!!) then we headed to Williams for the big train ride. Kayden was so excited to meet Santa and to be on a real train ride! Brecken is a trooper! He was awesome for the whole car ride there and back and on the train. He just hung out on my chest in the Ergo for most of the train ride and only cried when Santa boarded b/c the train car was full of screaming kiddos excited to meet Santa.
My happy 2 year old sang his little heart out for the singing portion of the ride and I loved watching him. He also had his first hot cocoa....still prefers only water but took a few sips b/c they were singing the Hot cocoa song and every one else on the train was loving it. I love making him smile like he did that day!

Some Photos

My friend Christa was nice enough to come over and take some photos of Baby Brecken when he was only 11 days old! So happy I have those shots of him sooo tiny. She got some great photos and I'm so thankful to have those moments captured now that I realize how fast time is going!!! I'm soooo bad at posting lately I'm just now doing it from way back then! Trying to get the hang of this 2 kiddo thing!

How, What, Where, When, Why??????

Our world has become bombarded w/ questions. Within the last 2 weeks Kayden has had a huge language burst and along with that has come a huge curiosity. He asks questions non-stop all day long. "How this work?" "Where we go?" "What we do here?" "What happened?" "What you doing?" "Where you buy this?" "When daddy get home from work?" "Why baby crying?" And lots more! I am usually exhausted by the end of the day answering his questions. But I love how curious he is and watching him soak in all the information I give him. A few months ago his questions where simple "How?" one word statements when he needed help working a toy or figuring something out. Now they are sentences and so much more complex with the information he is trying to gather. His little wheels turning in his head are so fun to watch!

Thanksgiving 2009

Uncle Kurt and Brecken

Carrie, Kayden, Uncle Mark, Brecken and I and Uncle Kurt

Mark, Brecken & Carrie (early in the morning before flying out on Sunday!)

Kayden and Brecken on Thanksgiving (Thankful for eachother I'm sure:)

Uncle Mark and Carrie trying to torment me!

Everyone making Thanksgiving Candy

Our Chocolate lover (not sure where he gets that from:)

Uncle Kurt w/ his boys!
This year with Brecken being born so close to Thanksgiving we had our family down to AZ for the holiday. My mom was already here for her month long stint of helping after baby boy was born and my brothers and Carrie flew in late Tuesday night. Kayden LOVES my brothers and Carrie! He talked about them coming for at least 2 weeks before they were to arrive. We had a photographer come the Saturday before and the way we could get him to smile everytime was by asking him who was coming to see him on Tuesday! He would get a huge smile and tell the photographer Uncle Mart and Carrie and Uncle Kurt. I LOVE that he loves his family so much. Not sure if anything could make me happier. I love that he knows that they are special and will always be there no matter what, family is the best and I'm so glad at his little age he already realizes it! Makes me feel like Kyle and I must be doing something right:)!
We did a lot of cooking and alot of eating and shopping while they were here. On Thursday my cousin Brian, his wife Montessa and her son Gavriel came along with my Aunt Martha and my cousins Little Ray and his girl Lizzy, Sarah and Amber. Montessa's parents also came. So we had a houseful! Kayden loved having "so many people at my house" and he'd smile big. He took a special liking to Martha, maybe he just knows she's my Godmother:)
Friday morning I was up nursing Brecken around 2:45 and we left to shop at 3:30am. yes, you read right! It's a family tradition, we do it every year, I can remember doing it wayyyy back when I was a little girl b/c I thought I had to go w/ all my aunts and mom. It's only once a year, we join the crazies and stand in long lines and think we are getting great deals. Since Breck is so tiny we brought him along. He just slept the entire time in either his carseat or one of my carriers. We started at 4am and shopped until 1pm! It was a big day! And we welcomed Carrie to the family by subjecting her to our crazy shopping day.
Friday night the boys all went to the hockey game including Kayden and the girls stayed home and watched My Sister's Keeper and snuggled with Brecken. I guess Kayden LOVED the Coyote and was thrilled to get to give him a high 5 TWICE:) After he saw him I guess he kept saying over and over "want that yote, want that yote" and drove daddy and uncles crazy saying it!
Saturday I took the crew to Lone Butte Casino...I gambled a whopping $7! And I hated doing even that much, all I could think of was that I could have gotten 2 Starbucks with that meme! I'm NOT a gambler at all but they wanted to go so I decided to try...and it didn't work, I just couldn't make myself put any more than that $7 in those money eating machines. Carrie though I think only did $5 so I guess I have a gambling buddy for next time, we can just sit and drink or something:) That night we went to SanTan Flats and ate outside by the firepits and made smores. Kayden and I also got jiggy w/ it on the dance floor. He was SO happy to dance and boogied down:) I had the best night dancing with my little man and I'm so happy he likes to dance w/ his mama since his daddy doesn't!
So glad we got to spend Thanksgiving with our family! It was great having you all here! So glad we got to make so many great memories with you this Thanksgiving!

Brecken is one month old!

(I put you in your coming home outfit for your one month birthday, crazy how much more you fill it out now!! You are growing wayyy too fast baby boy!)

I remember thinking a month went by fast with Kayden, but with your second baby it's even faster. It feels like I blinked and the time disappeared. I really feel like I was just trying to decide if I was in labor or not and now he is a month old.
This past month he has changed so much. I'm not sure how much he weighs but I can tell he has gotten alot bigger. His newborn clothes are now too small:( And he is filling out his 0-3 clothes alot more. He has gotten alot longer too! This past month he has really "Stretched out". He went from that tiny newborn scrunched in a ball to a much longer infant that likes to kick and stretch his legs and wave his arms around. He still does love to be scrunched up in a wrap or on my belly but it isn't all the time like it used to be.
He also is now awake a little more than before. He still loves to sleep but his awake times are getting a little longer. If I'm wearing him or he is on a drive in the carseat though he is always asleep. And at night he still sleeps great! He goes to bed for the night around 7pm and usually wakes around midnight to nurse and then around 3am and sometimes again around 5:00am or so. He just nurses and is right back asleep. I can't even get him to nurse on both sides in the night, he just wants a quick belly filler and then is out again. I really enjoy our night time nursing sessions (when I don't fall asleep!). I like the quiet time when it's just he and I. I find that a hard thing having 2 kiddos, sharing my time w/ two is hard, especially when one is very demanding. So at night when the house is quiet and all is good and peaceful I really soak up the little sounds Brecken makes and cherish how he stares into my eyes as he takes his big gulps. You sleep in bed with us on your side snuggled right in next to me. You do like to be swaddled to sleep but you don't need to be so most nights I don't but sometimes I do for naps b/c it helps you sleep longer.
We've covered, eating and sleeping...what else do newborns do??? Poop:) Won't get into details here but he has went from the newborn size diapers to the size 1 pampers already, happened about a week or 2 ago. It was hard for me to make the switch but after one too many blowouts I decided it was time:) He still does manage to blow out alot, seems to happen way more when I take him out, I always have to have a change of clothes! After it happened twice I realized that is why your supposed to just stay home w/ a newborn, going out is too much work!
You also still love your bath, the water has to be warm but if it is you are very content in there!
This month you also got to meet alot of your family! Both sets of grandparents came to see you (grandma W was here for the whole month...thanks mom!!! you made the month be a nice, peaceful transition from 1 to 2, a great gift!), your uncles Mark and Kurt and your new Aunt Carrie came down for Thanksgiving and then on Thanksgiving day you got to meet my Aunt Martha, and my cousins, Brian (and Montessa and Gavriel), Ray and Lizzy, Sarah and Amber! What a big month of introductions! Can't wait for you to meet more of the family over Christmas!
And a BIG one for this month!! You started smiling!! You smiled from day one when sleeping or whatever but you smiled back to us around 2 and 1/2 weeks! And now you fill our days with your sweet little smile!!:)

A funny story about outings with a newborn...One day mom and I went to paradise for lunch. Brecken and I were waiting for them to bring our food, he blew out, I went to the car to change him and while I was changing him he preceeded to poop all over the front seat in the tahoe and then started peeing all over me! Fun times:) I wasn't used to going out w/ a newborn yet so I didn't have enough wipes or diapers for the incident. I also wasn't used to my boobies leaking so while this is all going on I have spots on my shirt showing that my milk was ready for my little munchkin! When I finally got back to eat my sandwhich my bread was dry (we were sitting outside)and mom and Kayden were finished eating. So we tried to distract Kayden so I could eat and then Kayden preceeded to try and pull his pants down in front of everyone to "potty in the rocks like Didi". At that point I realized I should just stay home! It was a circus and I even had my mom there to help me, not sure what I would have done by myself.

And baby makes 4!

Life with 2 is hectic. I love it, but I am a busy girl! Brecken is just over 3 weeks old and I already can't imagine life before he was here. He is such a wonderful addition to our family, I can't believe how blessed we are to have him as ours. He still sleeps alot, nurses like a pro and loves to watch his big brother monkey around. Of course like most babies he is most content when snuggled up next to someone and we all love snuggling with him so much that he gets held alot. But he is very content when laying on the ground, in his bouncy chair or on a car ride. He also loves nightime snuggles and mommy loves them right back:) He'd sleep in his bassinet if I wanted him to but I like having him right next to me so that is where he goes. Sometimes grandma gives him a paci if I'm not around to feed him but he doesn't really need it and doesn't seem to have any preference for it, we'll see if that changes as time goes on. I'm not against him having one for awhile but if he doesn't need it/want it I figure why bother? Just like his big brother he likes to be worn when we are out, in the moby wrap (thanks Sara!) or in his peanutshell. I just got the infant insert for the Ergo so I'm excited to take him on a nice long walk in it.
And big Brother Kayden....He has done really well with his transition to big brother. But he still has some hard times, nursing is still something he'd rather the baby doesn't have to do. And if I'm talking or snuggling with Brecken sometimes I'll catch him just watching me and I know in those moments he feels left out and hurt and I hate that. At times he'll tell me "put my baby back in mommy's belly" (but most of the time he says happily, "Mama my baby came out of your belly":). And I know that he's having a hard day with sharing the attention with his baby brother. He also doesn't really like that baby brother sleeps with mommy and daddy. He will tell me to put him in the bassinet or that he wants to sleep with us. Sleeping has been a little hard for him, he likes to come to our bed alot which hadn't been happening before Brecken arrived. And he was fully potty trained and now sometimes he will pee on the floor on purpose and then seems proud of it! Not a fun little set back at all! Sometimes if someone is bringing the baby to me to nurse he will lay in the baby's spot and say "my lay right there mommy, you hold me not the baby", poor little man:( I hope he soon feels like me and can't imagine life without Brecken but for now I can tell he still remembers his "good ole days" when he was the only one getting all of the attention from everyone. But for every moment when he wishes Brecken wouldn't be getting snuggled, there are 10 kisses that he gives his baby brother. And everytime we leave without the baby he can't wait to get home to "his baby", and if we go somewhere he often says "my baby come w/ mama?" in a hopeful voice. So I know soon he will be used to baby and all that it involves and I hope I'm helping him transition to that time in a gentle way.

Brecken's First Bath

Brecken had his first bath on Saturday, November 7th. He loved it! He liked the warm water and had a content little face the whole time he was in it. He didn't love getting out of it and being cold until we got his pajamas on but he did love the bath. Big Brother Kayden loved helping during the bath and had to stand on a chair right next to us to make sure we did it right!

First Few Days

Brecken's first few days at home went really well. He is a really good baby, sleeps ALOT, hardly ever cries and nurses great! Not sure if his relaxed attitude comes at all from Kyle and I being much more relaxed this time, not having the first time parent crazies like we did w/ Kayden or if it's just his personality. Probably a little of both. My milk came in in the middle of the night on Monday and he was a happy camper. I have to wake him up to eat at night! He'll go 5 hours and I wake him up, not sure how long he'd go if I didn't wake him to eat. He sleeps with us in our bed, snuggled right up against me....I LOVE having a newborn baby in bed w/ me. That tiny little ball sleeping next to you is such a special thing to experience. It's def one of my favorite parts of being a mommy to a newborn. Watching him sleep is one of my favorite past times, I remember feeling that way about Kayden too. Something about watching your baby sleep peacefully is magical to a mommy (and Kyle says to him too).
On Tuesday November 3rd we took him to his first pediatricians appt with Dr. Salek. He weighed 7 pounds 12 ounces so he had lost 7 ounces. He didn't cry when Dr. Salek did his check up!

Big Brother

Kayden has a new role! On Saturday when daddy and I brought home Brecken to meet you, you were very excited! B/c of the swine flu kiddos under 14 are not allowed in any of the valley hospitals so you couldn't come meet him at the hospital. That made me pretty sad but I was that much more motivated to get out of there in 24 hours so that I could introduce you guys to eachother. When we got home you and Grandma were waiting outside by the curb for us. When I got out of the car the first thing you did was look at my belly and you said "My baby came out mama". I could tell in your eyes that you were having lots of emotions go through your little body that you couldn't totally process. You looked excited, scared, nervous and confused all at once. You were somewhere between smiling and crying and my heart broke for you. I know Brecken is an amazing gift to you and in time you will realize how wonderful it is to have siblings, but in that moment when you realized that the baby we had been talking about for months was real and going to invade your little universe I wanted to cry for you. And at that moment when you were so confused about how you felt you were still so naive to just HOW much your life was going to change.
So we got Brecken out of the carseat and you wanted to hold him right away. We put you in the rocking chair with a pillow and gave you the baby. You touched his cheek and had a huge smile while you were holding him. You didn't want to go trick or treating that night (it was Halloween), you just wanted to stay home w/ your baby. But we put your monkey costume on you and you walked to a couple houses but then you wanted to come right back home to your baby. That night you didn't want to go to sleep or leave our sides.
Now 10 days later you still love your baby. You like to watch him and touch him and give him kisses and if he's crying you come running! You love helping us change his diaper and give him a bath. You seem 100% fine with him, but you do get sad at times about the attention that he takes from you. It's not the baby so much that bothers you, just that you have to share your mommy and daddy with him. Nursing takes alot of time with a newborn and that is kind of hard for you too, you'll say "no nurse baby mama" or "baby all done!". Since Brecken has come home you've had a little difficulty sleeping at night and you have had some episodes where you aren't yourself but overall you've done great with the big transition! I couldn't be prouder of you!

I love to watch you watch him and give him kisses and I know that as he gets bigger and more active you 2 will grow closer and closer! I'm so proud of you for being a great big brother and learning to share your world with another person! You are doing a great job and you amaze me everyday little man!

Brecken Cole's Birth Story

On Thursday I went to my 4:15 appt with Dr. Kells, Kyle was busy at work so I had Mr. Kayden with me which made it interesting. Dr. Kells checked me and I was 0cm dialated and very far posterior still with no effacement. I was sure this meant that I would be preggo forever. They did an NST test and baby must have been sleeping. They had me drink cold water and that didn't wake him up and then they zapped my belly and that woke the little guy up. Kayden was freaking out at this time because he didn't like me strapped to all the equipment, he was crying and telling them to take it off of me. The nurses brought him candy to try and calm him down...great idea, give a kiddo a sugar rush to calm him:) J/k, it worked pretty well. While on the monitors I was contracting about every 5-7 minutes but they didn't hurt at all, my belly would just get tight. The nurses kept saying I might have a baby before Halloween but since I couldn't feel them I thought they were crazy! So I left the appt scared I'd get to 41 weeks and be forced into another c-section.
Friday morning I woke up, started doing dishes and noticed that I was having contractions that I could time. They were 4 minutes apart and about 20 seconds long, but they didn't hurt. So I just assumed they were maybe progressing me a bit but I was sure that they weren't "go into labor and have a baby contractions". So I went for my normal walk and the contractions continued. I decided to not go to Christa's halloween party that day because I had a little hope that the baby might come and I wanted to clean. A couple people told me they thought I was going into labor and I told them they were crazy and way more optimistic than me! I called Kyle and told him I was having contractions and let my mom know. Kayden and I got home from our walk and I made us pancakes and eggs and as I was eating the contractions started getting stronger, now they were 3 minutes apart and about 35 seconds long at around 9:30am. I still thought it was nothing. I let my doula know though just in case. I drank some water, laid on my left side and they continued. Around 11am they started getting pretty painful and were every 2-3 minutes and 40 seconds long. I got in a warm shower because I thought that might make them go away or at least I'd know more if they were real. I envy the women that feel like a hot shower makes them feel better in labor b/c it did nothing for me! By this point I was in some real pain and Kayden was making it very difficult. He was trying to rub my belly with bubbles and giving me kisses and sitting on my lap. I was to the point where I didn't want anyone touching me. Around this time I also had bloody show, so by now I finally believed it *might* be real. I called Kyle and told him he better get home (I had avoided it b/c he was doing a bid that day for work and it was a very important day for him to be there....but baby had other plans!). I called Jaclyn and told her I needed her to get my monkey and let the doula know what was going on. Kyle and Jaclyn got there around the same time. By this point it was hard for me to talk and I had to walk through contractions, I couldn't sit or lay down during them it was way too painful. Kyle did the transfer with Kayden to Jaclyn and I was in so much pain I barely said goodbye to him. Shortly after Kayden left the doula arrived and listened to baby's heart tones which were good and then she checked me, at that point I was 4cm and she thought I was progressing pretty fast, so off we headed to the hospital. Mommy was SO sure baby would be late I hadn't even packed my hospital bag. Kyle and I threw some things in the bag and drove off.
The drive to the hospital was no fun, being stuck in a car and not being able to walk through my contractions was SO hard for me and the turning and jerking made me scream. At this point I decided I wanted an epidural as soon as I got to the hospital. I thought I'd let Sally (the doula) try and talk me out of it though. We got to Chandler Regional Hospital and the whole place was reconfigured for the swine flu precautions so we couldn't find the labor and delivery entrance. I couldn't sit in the car for one more contraction so I got out to walk and find it, Kyle and Sally were sure I was crazy at this point:)
We found the entrance and as Kyle was checking me in Dr. Kells midwife Janice came to meet me and held my hand while I waited for Kyle. After getting to triage the nurses started asking me when my scheduled c-section was, I told them I didn't have one that I was a VBAC and then they asked me why I had my 1st c-section, when I said the "big baby" and "failure to progress" I could tell they thought I was wasting my time trying for a VBAC. They asked what Dr. Kells was estimating this baby's birth weight to be and I said he hadn't said any amount. They insisted I lay down while they strapped me to the fetal monitors and they wouldn't let me up while I was contracting. This was torture. Laying in that bed on my back while I was contracting made my contractions feel 10x worse. I couldn't take it. I told them to let me up or get me an epidural now. They told me I had to lay down so they would start giving me the IV fluids necessary before I could get an epidural. They checked me and said I was 5cm. They sent me to my delivery room and I had to lay through contractions while the fluid was being sent through the IV. It felt like FOREVER until I could finally get my epidural (I'm sure it was more like 15 minutes but at the time I was sure they were trying to torture me!:). When I got my epidural I was 6cm (I had told Sally I was fine getting an epidural if I needed it between 6 and 8cm so I guess I had good timing!).
I was so looking forward to the pain relief from the epidural. And then it only worked on the right side again (just like with Kayden). Having contractions on just one side is no fun. So they rolled me onto my left and hoped it would make the medicine go to that side. But unfortunately that didn't happen. My left side was still in alot of pain but my right side was numb. After being on my left side for a few minutes I felt a pop and water gushed out. My water had spontaneously ruptured (yeah!! w/ Kayden they broke it for me, I was so happy it happened on it's own when it was ready to break!). When my water ruptured there was blood in it, this freaked everyone out. And then the baby's heart rate decelerated, so people rushed into the room, put a fetal scalp monitor on baby and oxygen on me. It reminded me so much of Kayden's birth...after that stuff happened I was in surgery awhile later. I thought that my fate was sealed at this point and I'd be wheeled off to surgery soon. But Baby's heart rate stabilized and my blood pressure never waivered. So they don't know why there was blood in my fluid but as time went on it got more mucousy and less bloody so they think it was just my cervix bleeding from the rapid dialation. During this time my epidural was still only working on the right side. This scared me a little b/c contractions feel normal when they are across your whole lower belly, but when you just feel them on one side when your a VBAC it can be scary. I thought there might be a reason why I was only having pain on one side. But Sally assured me that since the pain was only during contractions it was normal, had I felt pain when not contracting she would have been more worried it could be a rupture. So the anestheseologist came in and "pulled out my epidural catheter a little and put more medicine in". This seemed to work some. My left leg was way more numb but I could still feel dull contractions on the left side, but they were way less intense than before. Kyle ran to grab food for he and Sally (In-N-Out Burgers was your daddy's last meal as a father of 1:). He made it back JUST in time! I progressed very fast to 9cm.
Dr. Kells came and checked me and I was 9cm and he said my baby's head was RIGHT THERE! He told me he thought my chances for a c-section were ZERO. That was one of the best things I have ever heard in my life. To hear I was going to actually get to do what I had been preparing for since Kayden's birth was so amazing. I think I started researching VBACs the week after I got home with Kayden. I timed my pregnancy with Brecken to give me the best chances possible for a VBAC, I had interviewed doctor's to find one that would support a VBAC, I'd hired a doula that was the ICAN chapter leader and had 50% VBAC births with a 100% success rate for VBACs, I'd made Kyle go to 2 FULL days of childbirth classes on Football Saturdays, I'd spent hours upon hours researching how to have a successful VBAC and educating myself on birth and NOW IT WAS ALL HAPPENING!! Even with all of my preparation part of me still doubted myself so much. Since Kayden's birth had been such a cascade of scary things happening I didn't trust my body at all that it could birth my babies the "normal way". I planned and prepared but in the back of my head I had prepared myself for the repeat c-section. So hearing that I was WRONG and this baby was coming out the right way was music to my ears!
Kyle got back shortly after Dr. Kells checked me and was thankful he hadn't gotten stuck in a long line getting food b/c I was moving that fast. At 5:30 I was 9cm and at 5:45 they said I was ready to push. Dr. Kells asked me if I was ready for "2 hours of pushing" and I told him to "Shut up!" this made everyone laugh but I was serious, there was NO Way I thought I could push for 2 hours! I was very scared to push. I never got to that point with Kayden. I was sure I wouldn't know how to do it. And the epidural had been turned down but because they had given me more medicine when it only worked on one side, I could only really feel the left side by the time baby was ready to come out. Kyle and Sally helped me hold my legs up and I followed the doctor's and nurses directions to push when I felt contractions. After about 3 pushing contractions Dr. Kells said he thought I needed an episiotomy. He said "Kaisha I never do episiotomy's but I think you are going to need one". I didn't know what to say, in our appts all we'd ever talked about regarding episiotomy's is that he didn't do them because tearing if necessary was better. So I said I didnt' know what to do. He said to try some baby pushes and we'd see what he thought after a couple more contractions. Well one baby pushing contraction later and the baby was out! I only had to push for 16 minutes! I was amazed I knew "How to push a baby out!". When Baby boy arrived he was screaming and Dr. Kells said "wow Kaisha you had alot of baby hiding in there, I'm guessing he is 8.5-9 pounds!" He told me how impressed he was with my fast delivery and I asked him what is normal and he said for a first time vagi birth with an epidural 2 hours is typical......I am SOOOOO happy I didn't have to do that for 2 hours, it was ALOT of work!
Brecken was placed on my chest right away. Having him there and being able to move and remember the entire birth was such a perfect moment. You think you love a baby when they are in your belly, and you do. But when you see and touch them for the first time that love overflows and reaches a higher level than you thought possible. I instantly was head over heals in love with my new little man. He was perfect in every way and having a good birth experience made those first moments so precious. I cried and smiled and felt so many emotions in those moments. After I got to soak him in for awhile they took him to clean him up, weigh him etc while I delivered the placenta (which to Kyle's dismay I had Dr. Kells show me when he asked if I wanted to see it...I figured why not, I'd never seen a placenta before:).
He was put back on me to nurse within the first hour. He wasn't all that interested at first but we kept trying and he did get a few good latches and sucks before they gave him his first bath and let me get up to walk for the first time. Shortly after we were wheeled up to post partum and settled into our room.
Of course Kyle and I snuggled Brecken all night while we were on the phone with everyone and recounting the birth with eachother. I was in total shock that he arrived early (38 weeks 6 days) and that my "active labor" was only from 11am until 6:05 when he was born!! That night he started nursing like a champ and was a sleepy head but Kyle and I were too excited to sleep (I remember that with Kayden too...). And I was in total amazement at how much better I felt after having a vaginal birth compared to a c-section, it was night and day!

Brecken Cole Hingst weighed 8 pounds, 3 ounces, was 21 inches long had a 13 inch head circum and 13.5 inch chest.

Welcome to the world Brecken Cole!! You are a perfect little gift from God and we are so blessed to have you with us! You made mommy's dreams come true the day you were born and you will forever be apart of me no matter where you are or where you go! We love you so much!

Halloween Fun

On Wednesday night we carved our jack-o-lanterns with Kayden. He was so excited and giggly as we were preparing them. He called the inside of the pumpkins "the oohy gooey":) He drew a face on his...or just drew on his:) He loved lighting the pumpkins each night w/ mommy, he'd take the old candles out and put the new candles in and then blow out the match for me, such a big helper!
On Wednesday we also made halloween sugar cookies for the Halloween party he was going to at Tula's (we never made it b/c baby brother had other plans for Friday:). Kayden loved rolling out the dough and making a mess with the flour. After one sheet of ghosts and pumpkins mommy decided to do the rest solo b/c the kitchen was covered in flour! On Saturday after Namma arrived he helped her frost them and put sprinkles on them!

What will you change?

This is a frequent question for a new mommy of 2. Alot of my friends about to have their first are asking me "what would you do differently w/ #2 after having done it?". So I sat back and thought about it b/c I wasn't really sure. And I came to the conclusion that I wasn't sure b/c I don't think I'll change anything. And I thought I'd like to journal it so that in a year I can see what I was right about and what baby boy prompted me to do differently.

I always thought my first response would be "oh this one will take a bottle no matter what!". But now that it's upon me, I think, eh what will be will be. If baby boy refuses a bottle like his big brother did, I might keep trying but then again I might not. And I for sure won't force it on him. Kayden endured me having a breast biopsy and decided to starve himself for the 24 hours after my biopsy, despite EVERY lactation consultant and doctor telling me he wouldn't. So I know I make stubborn babies (wonder where they get that from??). And to me it isn't worth it. Yes, it would be nice to have more freedom about when I can have a glass of wine or go out for a few hours. But it's also nice not having to worry about pumping. Being a stay at home mom makes the pump a very annoying thing. So to say I'm going to pump several times a week to keep him used to the bottle is something I can't really committ to. If he is easier than Kayden and is fine having it now and then, then I will be a happy mommy! If not, I will survive, I did once and it wasn't nearly as bad as people would say it will be. I actually kind of enjoyed the closeness it required of us:)

I plan on co-sleeping with our next baby too. With Kayden I had "planned" on having him in our room for the first 6 months and then he came and he needed to sleep with us, he needed to feel us next to him and be able to smell us and hear us. And I loved it. I love having that tiny baby snuggled up against me. In the grand scheme of things a baby in your bed for a year is such a small amount of time and those moments will never be there again when your rushing off to soccer practice and going to school plays. So if baby wants to sleep with us, baby is more than welcome:)
And despite what everyone told us, Kayden did leave our bed! On his own without any tears or sadness! So baby in your bed doesn't mean kid in your bed, at least for us it didn't.

To this day Kayden has still never cried it out. I've always responded to his needs and helped him feel secure and safe. (Yes, he has cried in time out, but to me that is different). And people told me I was making a mama's boy with no known limits, that he wouldn't be independent, he'd never sleep thru the night etc. You name it, I heard it! Well Kayden is a very independent boy and knows his limits and those can be taught without crying it out. He sleeps through the night too so even though I read all the books telling me that babies can sleep through the night without having to cry it out, it is so nice knowing this time that it's true! That I have a baby who did it. For me, crying it out isn't an option, I just can't do it. So I'm glad that their are other options out there for a mommy that is too much of a softie when it comes to her babies to listen to them cry.

Baby boy will also get to nurse on demand and I'm hoping I let him wean himself like I did with Kayden. Lucky for my babies I love nursing them so I'm hoping that doesn't change since I will have been nursing or preggy for the past ummmm...3 plus years by the time this baby arrives! It's a long time to not have your body as your own. But then I think about what I've always wanted, and it was always to be a mommy. So now that I have that amazing title I'm going to try and never rush through any stage with any of my babies. B/c when it's gone it's gone forever and you can't ever get it back, even if you have more babies, it will never be that moment with that baby again. I would be so rich if I had a dollar for every time an older mom or lady stared at me longingly or told me about when her babies were small and how fast time goes, while I was holding my baby or nursing my baby. So while my babies are little I really try to soak it in, b/c it's gone in an instant and I don't want to regret a moment!

Those are the big ones that I think alot of my "elders" were sure I'd regret doing. I heard alot of "babies need to cry sometimes" and "your going to have a baby in your bed forever now Kaisha". And sometimes I'd let myself think they might be right but at the end of the day I knew to just follow my instincts and do what was right for my babies. So I'm interested to see in a year what I'll think of this. If baby boy will be so different from big brother that I'll have to change alot in order to follow his cues and needs or if it will all ring true again. I'm getting very excited to find out! But I'll also miss having him with me 100% of the time and feeling every little movement he does inside of me. It's crazy how when your pregnant you are NEVER alone, you always have that little person with you!

2 years, 4 months

Kayden lately you have become mommy's little man all over again! You have always been my little heartbeat outside my heart but lately you have been so attached to your mommy. You love showering me with hugs and kisses and want mommy to do everything with you. I love it. I'm soaking in every moment because I'm very scared that in the next couple weeks when baby brother arrives you might be a little mad at me for awhile so I need to enjoy the hugs and kisses now. And I love having this special time with just you. Today before nap we were reading "I love you this much" and after we read that and your other stories you said "I love you this much mommy" and held your hands out wide and then said "and this much" and held your hands up high just like in the book. Then you said "I love you to the moon and back 3 times mommy". And I melted! For you to express your love for me in words like that was so special. And the fact that you had to times it by 3 makes it even better! I love you to the moon and back a thousand times baby boy.

Some cute things your doing/saying at the moment:
*On Sunday daddy let me stay in bed a few extra minutes and I heard you guys out in the playroom and daddy yawned a loud yawn. You said "Daddy no do that", Daddy said "do what", you said "go eaaawwwww", so daddy did it again and you said "daddy no do that again, too loud!"
*If you don't want someone near you you'll vocalize it right in front of them "Mommy don't want THAT lady by me!" (You did this at the hair place, Gap and at a picnic table at the park, makes for an embarrassed mommy!) The lady at the hair place had short spikey, red hair.....so I guess I need to culture you a little more!
*Every airplane that flies by has namma or gampa in it to this day, weeks after their visit. Today you saw 2 airplanes at once and you said "namma in dat aipane and gampa in dat one"
*My belly gets constant love from you "mommy open the baby up" which means to lift my shirt and you hug him, kiss him, talk to him, show him toys, etc.
*On Monday I got up early to get daddy a Latte for his birthday and when I got home you were waiting for me in the garage and said "Mommy you no go bye bye w/o ME!" And then promptly decided to freak out that I got daddy a breakfast sandwich for his birthday from Starbucks and only got you a water, lucky for you daddy is a sucker and gave you some of his sandwich before he left for work!
*Last night before we went to do bedtime you gave daddy a kiss on his leg and a hug and we were off to read stories. Daddy came in for a minute and read one of our stories w/ us and when he was leaving he asked for a kiss goodnight and you threw your little arms up and then let them hit your legs and said "Already daddy" he said what? you said "Already kissed you in the bafroom" and threw your arms up again as if to say come on get w/ it daddy! Of course you loved that this made mommy bust into laughter and you kept doing it over and over.
*You LOVE the bunnies that live in our greenspace. You can't wait to see them every morning and every night on our walk. You saw a lady feeding them carrots and now you have to take them a carrot every morning. When we start walking you put your finger over your mouth and say "shhh mommy, bunnies" and you pretend to tiptoe. But as soon as you see them you can't stop yourself and you go running at them screaming "HI BUNNIES, HI bunnies" and then they of course run off. You chase them and then yell at them to eat the carrots and surprisingly they usually do come back for the treat you have for them.
*You love pop music but aren't a big fan of country. If I have the pop station on you love to tell me to make it "Louder mommy, louder" and you jam out. But if it's on country if I turn it up you tell me "No mommy too loud".
*You have an amazing memory (better than mommy for sure!). You remember where we see each halloween decoration on our walk, where we have ever seen a cat or other exciting thing. You remember what scares your friends or what happened when they were over and you love to retell it over and over. For example if Maverick is coming over you'll say "Maverick scared of Didi mommy, he go AHHH" or if I give you the green bowl with your noodles "Tula have to have green too" b/c she got upset you had pink the last time she was here so we had to give you both green to stop the wars.
*Along the lines of storytelling....yesterday we went to meet Baby Evan and see Camila. Well you got to see his diaper being changed and I told you what the umbilical cord was for, why Brenda was putting medicine on his "weenie" and then you saw him nursing. Well when daddy came home you told him ALL about it. That he has a cord coming out of his belly button and that you used to and that was how you ate from mommy and that your baby has a cord to eat right now. That he has an owie on his weenie and that most little boys get an owie on their weenie when they are born and then he had mommy's milk and you lifted up your shirt to show daddy where he got milk from! I couldn't believe the detail you told daddy and that you remembered all of that new info you had learned hours before! You were definetely studying Evan closely b/c you know your going to have one soon! When we left Brenda's you said "My want baby like baby Evan NOW mommy". So I'm hoping you really will when he arrives!
*You use "My" instead of I, and I love it:) I know the speechie in me should be trying to correct it but your so ahead w/ all your speech I'm not worried, I'm going to enjoy this little bit of toddler talk you do now b/c I know you have nothing of a speech disorder and you'll soon correct it and then I'll miss my baby saying My instead of I.
*Say "Mommy come pay wit me" whenever you aren't getting my full attention
*When you want someone to come w/ you or follow you you slap your leg like your calling a dog!!
*Love rhyming words. We started rhyming words w/ you when we were bathing you, whatever body part we were washing we'd rhyme at the moment, (arm, farm, harm, etc). Now you bust out in rhymes all the time and if I do words that don't rhyme and ask you if they do you tell me "no dat don't rhyme mommy!" or "no dats not right"
*If I hurt myself or you accidently do and I let you know I'm hurt you quickly say over and over "it okay mommy, it okay"
*If I cry or pretend to you quickly give me kisses and tell me "No lye (cry) mommy, no lye!" in a frantic need to stop now mommy voice!
*You love art, painting, pottery, coloring, glueing, anything artsy you love. Of course this is hard for mommy....I'm the LEAST artsy person around! Lucky for you you have an architect as a daddy who can draw anything and loves to color! He did it for 6 years in college so he can teach it all to you, unlucky for you mommy is the one at home w/ you most of the time so hopefully you can be creative despite me!
*You still prefer to be naked when at home you call it "naki" and strip down whenever you can!
*You are 100% potty trained, haven't had an accident during the day in a really long time. At night you go weeks without an accident and then you'll randomly have a couple nights where you have one, these are usually related to daddy giving you a drink after you go potty!
*You call water "Lala" even though you can say water just fine:)
*Your favorite color is yellow!

Happy 31st Birthday Daddy!

Kyle's 31st Birthday was on Monday so we celebrated it on Sunday. He has been so slow at work all year w/ the bad economy and of course his birthday weekend he was swamped w/ work! So he worked alot both Saturday and Sunday and Kayden and I made him a cake and Kayden wrapped his presents he picked out for daddy. Kayden picked out Madagascar 2 the movie, the only movie he really ever watches is Madagascar so I wasn't surprised by the choice! And he picked out 2 nerf guns, one for him and one for daddy so that they can have "wars". Not sure WHERE in the world my 2 year old even learned about guns or war! He doesn't watch TV and he isn't around guns ever. I was pretty shocked. Kyle said it's innate in boys to love fighting etc. Guess it must be b/c he learned about it w/o any known exposure. He also found daddy a shirt at Banana Republic. When daddy asked him on Friday what he got him Kayden said "Guns". Kyle goes "wow, mommy must have you all sorts of confused" and I couldn't help but laugh! All weekend then he kept wanting to have daddy's "Happy Birthday cake and play with GUNS!".
Kyle was pretty surprised to open his gifts from little man and Kayden couldn't wait to have war with daddy. Having a little person makes birthdays so much more fun again! After celebrating them for so many years, having a little one's perspective shined on them makes it all new again!
Happy 31st Birthday Kyle, we love you!

Pumpkin Patch

On Sunday we headed to Freeman Farms in Chino Valley to their pumpkin festival. It's our 2nd year of going there and we love it! We love the day trip out of the city and up to the cooler weather. This year it was about 80 while we were there (the whole state had a hot weekend) but w/ baby boy due soon we decided to go this weekend even though it wouldn't be as cool as it will this next weekend (forcast says 70, darn it!). Kayden woke up telling us it was morning time and time to go bye bye! He loves adventures and was very ready for our day at the farm.
He got to pet sheep, goats, cows, horses, donkeys and a pig in the petting zoo. He tried to pet the pig's face and the pig snapped at him and mommy freaked! He led us through a fun corn maze, went on a hayrack ride, train ride and played on the big green tractors for a long time. He didn't want to leave them and had mommy get in the attached wagon so he could take me for a "ride":) He picked out a great pumpkin and had so much fun playing in the dirt and open air!